And Again… I am NOT a relationship expert…
However, You already know about the 6th sense thingy… Especially if you’ve already read Sex Language Pt. 1 AND Sex Language Pt. 2. If you have, then you already know where this is going. If not, click and read Parts 1 and 2 and then join the rest of us as I try to answer one question. It’s a question I mostly get asked by women but about 30% of the time, men do ask me too. The question is… “What does it mean when they say…
Scenario #1- Person 1 can sense that something is bothering their mate so they ask them what’s wrong. The mate responds with, “Nothing.“
Translation- On most cases, something is bothering them and they either want you to be more compassionate in your asking to really have a conversation about it OR they want you to sit and think about what you might’ve done (or not done) in the last 24 hours that has them feeling in a way. If you figure out what it is, address it with an apology EVEN if you feel it’s a small thing in your mind. It may be huge to them so don’t minimize it if you find out what it is.
Scenario #2- Person 1 can sense that something is bothering their mate so they ask them what’s wrong. The mate responds with, “Nothing… Why? What makes you ask?“
Translation- In most cases, nothing is really bothering them OR it may be something that isn’t related to the relationship. In that case, just back off because it might be your own guilty conscience OR if it’s something unrelated to the relationship, they’ll probably come around and talk about it later.
Scenario #3- A Female, outta the blue starts a sentence with the words, “Don’t you wanna…” OR “Don’t you feel like…“
Translation- This is what I feel like doing and I’d suggest that you feel like doing it too. Fellas, if it’s within reason, DO IT! A- You’ll probably end up somewhat enjoying it anyway. B- She’ll hold it against you if you don’t. C- It comes with being in a relationship. You have to do certain things that you don’t want to, so you might as well just do it.
Scenario #4- A male and female get into a dispute about… I don’t know… let’s say… Where to have dinner. And in that dispute, she randomly says something like, “I bet you if I was that little skinny girl from your job, you wouldn’t be arguing me down about where to have dinner.“
Translation- I don’t like her presence as it pertains to our relationship. A- I am very insecure and I would like for you to do something about making me feel secure with my space in your life as it compares to women like her OR B- I am a very secure woman but I just don’t like the way that you 2 interact and it needs to stop and it’s been bothering me for a while so I’m using a silly debate over which restaurant as a means to bring it up. Nevermind, where this came from or what this has to do with dinner, or the fact that you don’t even know which skinny girl I’m talking about… JUST FIX IT!
Scenario #5- The person you are with, either locks their phone or keeps it face down when you’re around.
Translation- I have some stuff going on in or through my phone that I don’t want you to know about. At that time, it’s on you to decide if you’re willing to put up with that or not. Technically (Unless you’re married) it’s THEIR PHONE and they don’t have to share anything with you. And if that’s the attitude that they have then you have to decide whether or not you want to deal with that. They may change… They may not change… That’s on you!
Scenario #6- A person says to the other, with a slight attitude, You always do such and such OR You never do such and such…
Translation- Whatever follows that “Always” or that “Never” needs to be paid attention to. Whether the person is accurate or not with what their saying is one thing. But the other thing is that, whatever they’re saying you always or never do, is starting to get on their nerves. You might’ve only done it 2 times but it’s obvious that a past relationship or maybe even they way they were brought up, has made them annoyed when it comes to this issues, whatever this issue may be. At the point in time, whatever is being said that’s always or never done. needs to be addressed in truth and at the root.
Scenario #7- The female wants the male to meet her father or uncle or brothers or some type of “Male Guardian” figure in her life.
Translation- She wants you, Bro! At least in most cases. With that being said, it’s up to you to either go forth since it’s obvious that she wants to walk in the direction of getting more serious OR It’s on you to find a way to distance yourself from that situation or at least slow things down a bit. And here’s a hint… It’s hard to slow things down a bit, if you want to keep exchanging bodily fluids with her.
Scenario #8- I’m just waiting on my soulmate…
Now, only the mature and truthful people will agree with this one…
Translation- I’ve arrived… Often times, people who say the above, feel like they have MOST of their stuff together and now it’s just a matter of time or spiritual intervention until their match comes along. I’m not saying that they think they’re perfect. But they have subscribed to the miraculous notion that God has chosen someone for them and that they are the person chosen in return and by some supernatural alignment, they will meet up with this person. You were blessed with a mind, common sense, experiences, intuition, wisdom, gut feelings, council, and a whole bunch of other stuff that can be used when making choices and decisions. For God to Bless you with all of these things AND THEN come and make a decision for you is a bit much don’t you think? In no way, do I want to push my spiritual beliefs on you but… Men and women have sex and release biological particles that join each other as a means to conceive a child. God interrupted that regular cycle for the sake of birthing Christ in what we call a miracle. The sea is a strong force of water that has waves and currents and all that jazz. God interrupted that regular flow for the sake of Moses parting the sea in what we call a miracle. I do believe that God can do all things. I also believe that some relationships may have an anointing while others may just be a wreck from the beginning. But to say that God has a person chosen for you is a but much… In the book that I read, Adam was the only person that God had someone chosen for and it never happened again. So if you are sitting around waiting for a miracle as it pertains to your relationship, I wish you well with that. I might be a bit presumptuous in saying this but… Don’t expect a person waiting on their soulmate to be the most proactive and rational person in a relationship.
Scenario #9- Person A has a habit of meeting Person B at the hang out spot rather than picking them up.
Translation- I enjoy your company for what it is but I’m not really that into you beyond that. It might get there later on but I see a reason to keep us from getting to a certain level of intimacy but I still enjoy doing whatever we do when we get together in person.
Scenario #10- Person A looks Person B in the eye and says, “I don’t want to be hurt.“
Translation- Be concerned. Why? Because most “normal” people don’t want to be hurt. People don’t walk around making it known that they don’t want to be shot. Nor do they walk around making it know that they don’t want to have a bird doo doo on their head. Why? Because it’s a given! So if a person has to go as far as actually saying it to you then A- They already see something in you that might hurt them OR B- They are that needy and frail that you will spend a more than normal amount of time and energy tending to their security. And that may not be a bad thing depending on what you’re into but just know that more times than not, that will be a part of your bond.
Well, since we’re talking about all this male/female interaction, check out my latest Single “Aspirations.” Some of you have probably already seen on a blog or two but this is the first installment of my next project called The Appetizer. Just look to your left and listen there.. And of course I’m always down for feedback…
Anyway,
I still need that feedback on what you just read, people!!! C’mon, you know how we do!! LoL
-Kel Spencer
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