Posts Tagged ‘Cheating’

#SPENCERISM- I Just Wanna Know Pt.1

Posted: September 29, 2011 in I'm Saying. I just wanna know
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Aight, so I always give you my opinion on certain stuffz, and things that are goinz on so now let’s do it in reverse….

I have my own opinion on these things but I’d like to hear yours. Most of you who subscribe to this blog are rather intelligent and I’m sure that I could learn something from a few of you so, I’ll ask you a question and then you give me your view-point, Deal? Deal…

Scenario #1- You go out to a restaurant. You see your best friend who has been married for about a year, out at this same restaurant. You were in their wedding. You gave a speech at the reception. You think that their spouse is a great match for them. Your best friend is sitting in a booth in the corner of the restaurant, hugged up with someone else. The best friend sees you… OR Let’s say they DON’T see you… What do you do? SHOOT!

Scenario #2- So… I’m on the train yesterday and there are these 2 guys sitting next to each other. They’re dressed pretty decent… pretty clean. A lady walked by with a nice shape and one of them looked at her just as long as I did. He then turned and looked at me with the “Wow, she’s friggin hot isn’t she?” look on his face and I nodded in agreement. A few stops later the other gentlemen reaches down to pick up his bag off the floor as this was his stop coming up and as he grabs his bag, he turns to the one who was admiring the woman with me and plants a 2-3 second tongue kiss on his lips. If my (future) child is with me and asks me about that, how does a person explain this in a non offensive and politically correct way? SHOOT!

Scenario #3- You are friends with a couple who is expecting. The entire time that you’ve known them, you’ve campaigned and made it known that when they have a child, You want to be the God-parent. Time goes on and you now have reason to believe that the male in this relationship may not be the actual father (In my Maury voice). You don’t have hard-core proof but certain things are being said by certain people and there is some doubt. This couple honors your wishes and asks you to be the God parent of this expected child. What do you say? SHOOT!

Scenario #4- Your family member wants to buy a car. You introduce them to someone who can make it happen. That person finds your family member the car they like at a discounted price of $5,000 instead of $7,000. They meet up and your family member only has $2,500 but agrees to pay the rest within a week. The dealer agrees to do so ONLY because this family member is YOUR family member. 2 days later the car is feeling a little “funny” and making noises so your family member feels that they shouldn’t have to pay the remaining balance since, in their eyes, the car isn’t running as well as they thought, but they want to keep the car. The dealer wants their money OR the car back and they are both running to you to play the referee since you put it all together. What do you do to help the situation? SHOOT!

Scenario #5- You’re out on a date with your significant other. They’re phone rings and it’s from a non-recognizable number. They answer and it’s obvious that they don’t know who it is. The person is making your mate play the “guess who it is” game and judging by your mate’s face and body language they’re both trying to figure it out AND getting a little fidgety and nervous. They start speaking in a bit of short-hand english with a bunch of “Mmm Hmms” and “Nuh Uhs” and “Yups” and then they end the call with “Yeah, erase. Yeah” When they hang up, they instantly start talking about something way left. Do you ask anything about it? Do you chalk it up as an awkward moment that they really had no control over since they weren’t the one who initiated the call so that can happen to anyone? What do you do? SHOOT!

Scenario #6- You meet someone who is in the same line of work as you. They are further along in that industry, more well-connected, and more established. You speak pretty often for about 2 weeks and then you both finally hang out. When you hang out, you make it known to them that you are interested in getting further in your career and you’d like their help with that. After that hangout, their contact with you decreases drastically. You see them a few months later at an event in which you are attending with people who this person would love to be in the company of. They run up on you with open arms and smiles and a desire to hang out again and the whole deal. What do you do? SHOOT!

Lucky Scenario #7- You hate pedophiles. They make your skin crawl. You feel like they should be jailed under the jail that’s under the jail. This is how you feel about them. Reason being, you were sexually abused as a child. You eventually vent to one of your older relatives about how you feel about them and how you feel about who abused you and how you feel about the entire situation. You confide in this relative because they love you, they’ve always been good to you, they’ve always been there for you and you know that their wisdom and older perspective is and always will be beneficial when you come to them for advice or to vent… You then find out that this relative is also guilty of indecent child sexual acts from 40-50 years ago. What do you do? SHOOT!

I just felt like engaging you all a little bit. I hope you don’t mind… Speaking of engaging, a good friend of mine, Holley Monelle, has a dope program that I know you all can enjoy. Check out this link for The Hall Pass Tour and if it’s your cup of tea, handle your handle or at least share it with some folks. But I’d love to see some of your feedback on today’s post…

-Kel Spencer

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#SPENCERISM- She’s A Murderer

Posted: September 19, 2011 in Just Sharing...
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I woke up this morning to learn that she killed her child. She shot her child. She literally killed her own child. I was shocked on the phone. What a way to start the week…

She says that she was stressed out. She says that the pressure of her situation was too much to take and that’s why she did it. She says, “All I ever wanted was love and to be in a peaceful place. But instead all I get is pain and pressure and hurt and torment and that’s why I did it!“

I know that as you read this, you have a picture in your mind of the type of woman who would do something like this. In your mind she might be asian or white or black or petite or husky or maybe look crazy or have a mild manner about her. Well, let me add to the news that I received and that might help you to fill in the colors and shades of the outline that you’re creating in your mind. The child was only 7 months old….

And not 7 months old the way that you’re thinking. What I mean is… She was 7 months pregnant.

She was married once before. She got a divorce because she learned that her husband was cheating on her. She moved past the hurt and humiliation of that relationship and eventually re-married. Her second husband cheated on her as well.  She’s living everyday life with a budding life inside of her, swollen ankles, emotional waves, hormonal instability, but also hope, joy and optimism, while her spouse and “better half” is violating their vows… For a second time in her life. “All I ever wanted was love and to be in a peaceful place. But instead all I get is pain and pressure and hurt and torment and that’s why I did it!” As last week ended, so did her life and the life of her unborn child. She shot herself in the head. Maybe HE’s the murderer.

Cheating… I don’t even know where to start. Is the person we’re with not enough? Sex, on average, only lasts what…. 25-35 minutes? If that! Are the sneaky phone calls & text messages, and private Facebook messages and secretive meet-ups, and gas money to meet up and money spent on hotel rooms and/or meals and/or movie tickets, and time/effort/energy put into all of this really worth that half hour of lust just for you to like them less right after you get your rocks off anyway? Is it worth it? And trust me, I’m not acting holier than thou because I am guilty of cheating too! Most of us have done it, but why?!? Do we not have self-control? Do we not have an internal police and moral compass? Is respect for our relationship really that low that cheating is damn near a societal norm? What is really wrong with us?!?!?

And let’s not even get into marriage. That makes it even worse and more disgusting. I know that women cheat but this is really aimed at the men. We all really need to look at what cheating is and does. There is an unspoken agreement of terms when you get into a relationship. It is assumed that those terms will be acted out for the sake of building the relationship to a healthy place. When those terms are not upheld and even violated it makes no sense to even be in that relationship! I mean, like let’s really look at this from a logical standpoint. Why agree to commit to a person that you’re not going to commit to?!? JUST STAY SINGLE! I know I’m just venting but let’s really take a look at ourselves and the relationships around us. RELATIONSHIPS ARE ALL WE HAVE!!!! Everything on this planet, is catalyzed by way of relationship. Nothing can get done or achieved in isolation. No growth can occur in solitary confinement. All we have is relationships. And the male/female sexual dynamic is what populates the human race. It’s what keeps life going.  You get a stigma when you’re a crackhead or a child-rapist or even a thief but not for being a cheater… Why can’t we do it the right way?!?

Much love to Lisa, My prayers are with you and your circle. And C. Tucker, I’m sure this struck a chord with you also. I love you both dearly and I’ll continue to stand in the gap for any hurt or discomfort that may be there. Praise God…

Reminds me, I did a track called “Know The Truth” that I know is appropriate for this post. Listen to a FREE snippet of  it on itunes, or rhapsody.  If you wanna spend a WHOPPING .99 to buy it, please feel free. You can even avail yourself to the Entire Salon Stories Project via download OR have a hard copy with artwork and track listing and photos delivered to you via Amazon. It’s up to you.

Let’s all get it together y’all. We all need to step it up and get this thing under wraps.

-Kel Spencer

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God’s Favorite Emcee | Warrior Poet | 1/2 of Writing Duo ME & MY BROTHER | Lover of all non sucky stuff | Satan.Hater | #ChixDigMe | QB of The Urban Experience | #TeamNoBoxes

#SPENCERISM- Heauxs Be Winnin’

Posted: August 10, 2011 in Maybe it's just me but ummm...
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Heaux (pronounced Hō)

I think I wanna be a Heaux…

Wait, before we get started…. I’m one of the few people who give out good, quality stuff FOR FREE… In return, do me the favor of Subscribing for FREE over there to the left, under “Keep In Touch…” We got a deal?? Good…

Now, where was I? Oh yes…. I wanna be a Heaux… Have you ever heard a female say that? I have. I just got off the phone with my homie Dee, and she shared a conversation with me that she had with one of her female friends. But as she told me about her friend saying, “I think I wanna be a Heaux ’cause them Heauxs be winnin!” A few real life scenarios popped into my head, For example:

The Sexy Scholar Scenario:

A female does what she’s supposed to do. She has a great personality, great smile, gets good grades. She graduates top of her class, makes it into law school, is captain of the fencing team, pledges AKA, and she… Oh, wait lemme be politically correct… *A-hem! She pledges AKA or DELTA or ZETA or S.G.Rho, she secures a job at a nice law firm, keeps her body up to par and eventually attracts what society would call “A GOOD MAN.” They get married, buy the dream home, have 2.4 children, a Benz, a truck, and a mini van and then she finds out that he’s sleeping with his receptionist who is a BIRD! Heauxs be winnin…

The High School Sweetheart Scenario…

He’s the captain of the basketball team, she’s the cheerleader. They’re voted class King & Queen. He’s also voted most likely to be the next Michael Jordan. He goes away to college on a basketball scholarship. She stays local at a community college to get her associates degree in basket weaving or knitting or whatever. He declares for the draft after his sophomore year of college and makes it to the NBA. He does right by the woman who has held him down all these years… His High School sweetheart… BUT! He also needs to let her know that he also has a daughter on the way by one of the “it just happened” basketball group-group girls who won the “get on your knees and pop it like it bubble” dance contest at one of the house parties. And that she’d be getting 17% of their income for the next 18-21 years… But will you still marry me? Heauxs be winnin…

The Twitter Getter…

He’s a hard-working, blue-collar entrepreneur kind of guy. She stays at home and holds the house down like a champion. The crib is spotless. The children are mannerly and well-groomed. His meal is always on the table when he gets home from the construction site. After dinner, he takes the laptop down to his man cave to smoke a cigar and hop on the internet. He logs into his facebook page, his myspace page, his Hi-5, page, his tagged account, his blackplanet page, AND his twitter account. He sees a tweet from this one sexy blogger that he follows and decides to go and see if she’s on facebook too for a more elaborate type of interaction because that 140 characters on twitter just ain’t gonna cut it! He finds her, sends a request and she instantly accepts. He sees her green light on, and says hello through the pop up chat and before long they’re talking. In the following weeks, he starts taking his dinner plate down to the man cave along with his lap top and  cigar and lotion *side eye. Now, these chats have gotten rather sexual, there have been picture exchanges and all of a sudden he has to now leave town on “business.” Wifey understands that his construction business is expanding so she packs his bag and wishes him well on his journey for him to come home with a new weird attitude, a paranoia, a burning sensation when he urinates, a new person prank calling their home, and the eventual admission that he spent about 4 stacks on a sensual weekend slip away with a facebook friend. Heauxs be winnin…

The Popular Loser

She never has to wait in line at the club. In fact, the bouncers come to the curb to open her cab door for her as she waltz’s past the regular peasants and walks through the velvet rope, past the coat check directly to the VIP section where her over priced glass bottles of fermented grapes await her. She’s the wifey of the most popular promoter in town who’s actually a loser. She flaunts her 3 karat engagement ring and loves how jealous the other females are of her. The one thing she hates is that he hardly ever spends that much time with her but she understands that he’s out there grinding. The night ends and he walks her to the taxi cab waiting out front where he tells her the usual… “Babe, I’ll be home in about an hour and a half, I just need to go back inside and finish up this money count.” And of course she believes him, smiles as he kisses her and she rides off. As time goes on, she then starts to notice that while she’s in VIP, the “lesser than” females are giving her cut eyes, and screw faces, and low-key taunting her but she has no idea why. It might have something to do with the fact that her boyfriend never goes back inside to do the count. He actually waits for her cab to hit the corner to slide off with one of these “lesser thans” for some Jovial Jumpoff! Wait ’til she hears what’s about to happen 1 month from now…. 4 months from now… AND 5 months from now… Yup, there are 3 “lesser thans” pregnant by her Popular Loser fiance. Well, at least 3 that we know of. Heauxs be winnin…

I sent out a tweet a couple of weeks ago stating, “If I was from another planet, and the show Basketball Wives was my first encounter with black women, I would never want to seriously date a black woman.” I don’t know all of their stories. I can point out what is and isn’t my type but I can’t exactly judge them either. But what I do know is… a “Heauxs be winnin…” type of smell comes from some of the women on that show and from situations like that #iFiTDontApplyLetiTFly. With that being said, I can understand the logic behind Dee’s friend saying what she said. It’s like the “good girls” get burned while the opportunistic girls get the reward. I won’t even get into how this dynamic is very similar for us men… I won’t even touch on that. But I remember when words like “groupie” and “prostitute” and “stripper” and “escort” would hold a negative stigma. It’s damn near the opposite these days.

Maybe it’s just me though…

-Kel Spencer

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#SPENCERISM- Sneaky w/the phone…

Posted: March 1, 2011 in Just Sharing...
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You’re on a date. Their phone rings. They look at the phone and decide not to answer. No big deal, right? Of course not… Maybe they didn’t answer because they want the focus to be on you. Cool…

You then get in a relationship with this person and months later, they still continue to not answer certain calls. They answer most of them, maybe about 7 out of 10 calls. But the other 3 out of 10, they ignore or send to voicemail, or they send it to voicemail and then send a text, which may or may not be to whom just called.

You also notice that when you’re together and they DO answer the phone, they don’t walk into another room or talk extra low but instead of answering questions like this, “Oh, no… I’m just hanging out with my boyfriend, we’re going to the mall,” or “I’ll call you back in a bit, I’m having dinner with my girlfriend… Yeah, she took me out to celebrate my new job promotion,” they answer questions like… “Nothing, just cillin” or “Nothing, just hanging out.“

I once had an older person tell me…

“When they’re not answering the phone, they ain’t living right! It may not mean that they’re cheating, it could be a bill collector that they’re dodging, It could be a person who they owe money to. It could be a person who they’re just trying to avoid. But a real quality person with integrity would face those issues head on, rather than duck and dodge calls. So when a person is ducking and dodging, and you see it’s a habit, They Ain’t Living Right!“

Of course there are exceptions to every rule but based on what you’ve read here today, do you know anyone like this? Are YOU this person, lol? How would you/do you deal with this type of scenario?

I know for a fact, it would and does make me a bit uncomfortable and even want to question the other person. Not for fear of them cheating per se’ but just our of them having weird tendencies. But that’s just me.

What about you?

-Kel Spencer

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#SPENCERISM- What is Cheating?!?

Posted: May 22, 2010 in I'm Saying. I just wanna know
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What exactly is cheating?

There are some people who say that giving out your phone number while in a relationship is cheating. There are some people who don’t mind if their mate gives out their number as long as nothing physical happens.

There are some people who say that even if a person is fantasizing about another person then technically that’s cheating, while some couples actually enjoy sharing who they secretly fantasize about with each other.

I’ve seen a female sit on her boyfriend’s laps in front of her man, and he had NO PROBLEM with it. On the other hand, I know of some women who would have a pimp-hand print across their face if they tried that.

So, I ask you… Does cheating have a concrete definition or does each couple create their own individual definition and guidelines for what cheating is?  You tell me…

-Kel Spencer

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