Aight, so I always give you my opinion on certain stuffz, and things that are goinz on so now let’s do it in reverse….
I have my own opinion on these things but I’d like to hear yours. Most of you who subscribe to this blog are rather intelligent and I’m sure that I could learn something from a few of you so, I’ll ask you a question and then you give me your view-point, Deal? Deal…
Scenario #1- You go out to a restaurant. You see your best friend who has been married for about a year, out at this same restaurant. You were in their wedding. You gave a speech at the reception. You think that their spouse is a great match for them. Your best friend is sitting in a booth in the corner of the restaurant, hugged up with someone else. The best friend sees you… OR Let’s say they DON’T see you… What do you do? SHOOT!
Scenario #2- So… I’m on the train yesterday and there are these 2 guys sitting next to each other. They’re dressed pretty decent… pretty clean. A lady walked by with a nice shape and one of them looked at her just as long as I did. He then turned and looked at me with the “Wow, she’s friggin hot isn’t she?” look on his face and I nodded in agreement. A few stops later the other gentlemen reaches down to pick up his bag off the floor as this was his stop coming up and as he grabs his bag, he turns to the one who was admiring the woman with me and plants a 2-3 second tongue kiss on his lips. If my (future) child is with me and asks me about that, how does a person explain this in a non offensive and politically correct way? SHOOT!
Scenario #3- You are friends with a couple who is expecting. The entire time that you’ve known them, you’ve campaigned and made it known that when they have a child, You want to be the God-parent. Time goes on and you now have reason to believe that the male in this relationship may not be the actual father (In my Maury voice). You don’t have hard-core proof but certain things are being said by certain people and there is some doubt. This couple honors your wishes and asks you to be the God parent of this expected child. What do you say? SHOOT!
Scenario #4- Your family member wants to buy a car. You introduce them to someone who can make it happen. That person finds your family member the car they like at a discounted price of $5,000 instead of $7,000. They meet up and your family member only has $2,500 but agrees to pay the rest within a week. The dealer agrees to do so ONLY because this family member is YOUR family member. 2 days later the car is feeling a little “funny” and making noises so your family member feels that they shouldn’t have to pay the remaining balance since, in their eyes, the car isn’t running as well as they thought, but they want to keep the car. The dealer wants their money OR the car back and they are both running to you to play the referee since you put it all together. What do you do to help the situation? SHOOT!
Scenario #5- You’re out on a date with your significant other. They’re phone rings and it’s from a non-recognizable number. They answer and it’s obvious that they don’t know who it is. The person is making your mate play the “guess who it is” game and judging by your mate’s face and body language they’re both trying to figure it out AND getting a little fidgety and nervous. They start speaking in a bit of short-hand english with a bunch of “Mmm Hmms” and “Nuh Uhs” and “Yups” and then they end the call with “Yeah, erase. Yeah” When they hang up, they instantly start talking about something way left. Do you ask anything about it? Do you chalk it up as an awkward moment that they really had no control over since they weren’t the one who initiated the call so that can happen to anyone? What do you do? SHOOT!
Scenario #6- You meet someone who is in the same line of work as you. They are further along in that industry, more well-connected, and more established. You speak pretty often for about 2 weeks and then you both finally hang out. When you hang out, you make it known to them that you are interested in getting further in your career and you’d like their help with that. After that hangout, their contact with you decreases drastically. You see them a few months later at an event in which you are attending with people who this person would love to be in the company of. They run up on you with open arms and smiles and a desire to hang out again and the whole deal. What do you do? SHOOT!
Lucky Scenario #7- You hate pedophiles. They make your skin crawl. You feel like they should be jailed under the jail that’s under the jail. This is how you feel about them. Reason being, you were sexually abused as a child. You eventually vent to one of your older relatives about how you feel about them and how you feel about who abused you and how you feel about the entire situation. You confide in this relative because they love you, they’ve always been good to you, they’ve always been there for you and you know that their wisdom and older perspective is and always will be beneficial when you come to them for advice or to vent… You then find out that this relative is also guilty of indecent child sexual acts from 40-50 years ago. What do you do? SHOOT!
I just felt like engaging you all a little bit. I hope you don’t mind… Speaking of engaging, a good friend of mine, Holley Monelle, has a dope program that I know you all can enjoy. Check out this link for The Hall Pass Tour and if it’s your cup of tea, handle your handle or at least share it with some folks. But I’d love to see some of your feedback on today’s post…
-Kel Spencer
Subscribe for FREE over there, under “Keep In Touch…“ Follow Me on Twitter @KelSpencer (personal) and @THEKELEIDOSCOPE (events & announcements) Join Me on Facebook & Youtube FRξSH PЯINCξ OF BЯOOKLYN | iLoveJesus | American Music Award Winning Writer | 1/2 of Writing Duo ME & MY BROTHER | #ChixDigMe | GGA | #TeamNoBoxes | QB of The Urban Experience| Warrior Poet |
Scenario 1: Call my best friend to “catch up” and inquire about her marriage in an indirect non offensive way. Offline convo, not at the restaurant. She is my best friend right?
Scenario 2: Chuckle at the irony; I do not care about a person’s sexual orientation.
Scenario 3: It’s not my place to ASSume such a vile accusation as I do not have proof.
Scenario 4: Car is making noise therefore I would suggest to the family member to return it with a full refund. If the dealer didn’t divulge that pertinent piece of information about the car, then I would come to the conclusion that he was trying to GET OVER on my family member. Return the car to the greasy salesman (friend or no friend).
Scenario 5: Be up front. Communication is key!!! He would have to explain thoroughly who it was or suffer the repercussions of my ASSumption.
Scenario 6: Play the game…The professional world is like Chess…so I wouldn’t take it personal. Strategize!
Scenario 7: I hate pedophiles. Period. Doesn’t matter who. Therefore my relative would fall in that category. Can’t forgive a sicko for ruining a child’s life.
#1. I stop by the table and say “Hi” while giving the “WTF is going on here?” face. I’m sure a phone call will take place later that night!
#2. I’d tell my kid “That’s his husband or boyfriend…” and leave it at that. My kids have know about gay men and women from an early age so they’re not shocked by it. It’s just another couple on the train.
#3. The baby’s paternity has nothing to do with my ability to be a good godparent. If anything, that child will need me in its life more than ever if the rumors prove true.
#4. Honestly, that business transaction was between the both of them, all I did was make introductions. I’d tell them both to work it out and stay out of it.
#5. I’m nosy so you’d better believe I’d have to ask about it. I just like to know people’s business LOL
#6. I’d have to play along. Pettiness doesn’t look good even if you’re justified in it. But I wouldn’t vouch for the person to other colleagues; they’re not getting an endorsement from me, hmph!
#7. I have reconnected with an uncle that allegedly molested another family member and I can honestly say I hold no ill-will towards him. Maybe I should but he never did anything to me so he’s always been a good-guy in my memory bank. It’s a tricky situation because I feel bad for the relative he allegedly abused- it has definitely ruined her life- but he’s my uncle, you know? Maybe I’d feel differently if I had been a victim, too.
Hey Kel,
I can relate more to Scenario #7 so I am going to..uh hem (clears throat) elaborate on this subject if you will.
The first thought that comes to mind is: (say this relative is my Uncle) Uncle needs to be put under the jail of jails…Then second thought is: I have been telling Uncle things that are close to my heart.
My feelings are confused, frustrated, I can’t trust him anymore…or can I? Would it have been better not to know or…. The question is, do I confront Uncle and let him know that I KNOW and that I deserve an explanation OR do I just stop speaking to him altogether because now when I look at him I see “pedophile”?
The abuse from childhood now comes to the center of my thoughts and the things that I have been through begins to come back to my memory. I don’t need to reopen this can…..Uncle needs to be put under the jail of jails or does he?
Do people deserve a second chance? Did his life change since 40-50 years ago? Have I HEALED from my past, did I FORGIVE. I will NEVER forget. Has Uncle ever tried to touch me as a child?
This is a very touchy subject but I would definitely want to hear his story before I make a decision. All I can say is, this will DEFINITELY change our relationship, better or worse.
Uh Oh, did I have to answer them all? Scenario #7 stuck out to me so…I’ll come back with my thoughts about the others later….deuces
Scenario #1: If she doesn’t see me, then I’m not going to tell her that I saw her. I’ll wait for her to come to me to let me know what’s going on with her if she wishes. If she sees me, I speak and keep it moving to be followed up later, even though I wouldn’t tell her husband about it because that’s her job.
Scenario #2: Not sure that I would explain that to a child unless he or she asked a specific question, but kids are exposed to so many things these days that he or she would probably be lessed shocked than the parent.
Scenario #3: I would just be the godparent. If he takes on the role of parent, then as far as I’m concerned he’s the parent.
Scenario #4: I would have never gotten involved with that scenario in the first place because they almost never turn out good, and you’re the one who gets the blame in some way.
Scenario #5: I might ask what that was about, but I wouldn’t give the person the 3rd degree about it. Either he’s going to tell me about it or not, and will just keep it in my database for future reference if necessary.
Scenario #6: I wouldn’t ask someone to help me to further my career unless we were dealing with each other on a professional level, so we would either be dating and hanging out or conducting business. Now if the person gave me tips on furthering my career I would be all ears!!!
Scenario #7: Even though I know some people change, my relationship with that person would definitely take on a different tone. I’m not sure if I would cut off all communication with the person, but I think that I would feel some type of way being that I’m a survivor of sexual molestation!
#1- Due to me being a witness under GOD and the marriage vows, it would be my duty to nip it in the bud with my beloved best friend right away. So…I would approach the table politely introduce myself and excuse myself along with my best friend to have a meeting in the ladies room. I would let her know that I don’t condone her behavior and together we will make a decision on who will leave the restaurant. The best friend side of me would have a heart to heart at another time and place.
#2 This is a tough one because in my opinion however you would explain it the explanation would definitely have to be age appropriate and coincide with the parents beliefs on homosexuality. So…to be politically correct I would tell the child that the two men made a choice to love each other… just like you would explain to your child why you looked at that ladies booty for so long
LOL!
#3 Since the couple supported the campaign then it’s only right for that person to do what he/she said they were gonna do! Friends don’t bail out on hearsay.
#4 Ok… I’m assuming that the due diligence took place on the car i.e. (test driven, hiring of a mechanic to take a look at the engine, ran a DMV report on the car) before purchasing the car. Because the family member wants to keep the car in spite of it feeling a little “funny” and making noises, I would tell the family member to go ahead and pay the man because that was the agreement. As the referee and having a rapport with the dealer you may want to vouch for your family member for the car to be fixed by the dealer.
#5 Because it being my significant other, I wouldn’t have to initiate the who or what made my “Daddy” feel fidgety and nervous over the phone while we are sharing intimate time together. He would let me know before he goes left…but just in case he don’t…Hell yeah I’m gon ask with a side eye!
#6 NEVER BURN BRIDGES…because this person is well-connected and more established in the same industry…I would only continue a business relationship along with a personal disposition of keeping my enemies close with this Opportunist person.
Lucky #7- I would be terrified to know that all this time I’m confiding in my relative about my horrific experience as a child and he/she not once mentioned by given me the courtesy of letting me know that she/he is guilty of the same act! I don’t care if they did it a HUNNIT YEARS AGO the trust would be lost and long gone. I wouldn’t allow my child nor any other child be left alone with this person.
I had fun with this post…keep it comin!
Scenario #1 Even though, I dont have best friends… If I seen a close friend of mine doing this, I would actually call them up once I got home and asked what was going on, offer advice to the situation if I can.. I pray that my advice reached down deep enough to effect my friend to do the right thing to correct whatever is going on in his/her relationship.
Scenario#2 Well, as much as I dont want a lot of things that go on in this world these days to have any bearings on my children’s decisions in life.. I cannot always protect what they see nor hear. I would have to explain to my child that what just occurred were two men in a relationship, that they are human regardless of what lifestyle they live.
Scenario#3 Regardless of what has been said or what I have heard, I asked to be the God-parent.. The outcome of who the father is.. Is actually irrelevant to me.. I would say yes and be the best God-parent that I could be.
Scenario#4 (Pootie tang voice) I would have to say the nay no my brother…Lol! Ok.. I would let both parties know that I respect both of their decisions, but I believe that the car should be given back..regardless of what you feel the car wasn’t worth, it’s the principal, the car salesman could say that the car was in excellent condition when it was sold.. If I cannot convince my family member to pay the rest or give the car back.. I will apologize to both parties and let them know that I am no longer playing the middle man and take it to court.
Scenario#5 It would not bother me,,, I would just chuck it up… Now, if it continues to occur.. I might ask.. but then again, according to the way that the call was handled, it would determine how I would react..
Scenario#6 Back then they didn’t want me, now Im hot they all up on me… Ok, well my old attitude would be a softee move and let them back in my cipher.. But the new me wouldn’t call them out on it up front, I would greet him/her but I wouldn’t keep in touch.. She/he has already put a sour taste in my mouth about how our relationship/friendship was handled in the past so the relationship/friendship is no more.. If he/she asks about my actions , I would explain That I dont mind being friends but at a distance and keep it moving..
Scenario#7 Oh wow Kel… This is a doozie.. I have no love in my heart for the topic in this scenario.. I do not know how I would handle this at all.. Very hard topic..I might have to remove myself from that person in every aspect even down to the location.. Cuz All I see is redrum..